WTNV - Secret Truths
by Kunaigirl the great
Summary: (headcanon/AU about the events leading up to what Cecil found in episode 33) Ok, so I was skyping with someone and we were talking about what we learned from episode 33. I started talking about what I thought lead up to those events, and that person proceeded to request me to write it out into an actual one shot. It's been a long time since I actually wrote anything, so yeah...


The phone had been ringing for quite sometime, and you are beginning to worry. It's been almost fifteen minutes since the broadcast ended, and your dear boyfriend still hasn't picked up. This was a very odd thing for him to do, but then again this happened to be a very odd broadcast. You were busy working and taking down documentations for your current experimental project, so you just hardly caught the end of it. You had only heard his last little speech directed towards the younger audiences, and the concluding statement. You're very uneasy, he just didn't sound like himself. Could it be that he was mad that you missed it? After all, he always somehow manages to figure out weather or not you're tuning in or not...No, that can't be it. The two of you talked about it last night over dinner. He understood that you had work to attend to, and he's always so willing to adapt to what is most convenient for you.

So why was he ignoring your calls? This is an even bigger red flag than the tone he had in his voice. Shit, something was seriously wrong. You decide it's best to stop calling for now and just drive over to check on him. What if something happened? You already are fully aware of the situations people can get into in this fucked up town. Especially those individuals with political stance, even a lower level one. Not to mention, how his station was also recently bought out by STREX, which you know Cecil is very unhappy about. With how his last management abused him over the years, you can't help but start to fear the worst. You nervously fumble for your keys as you throw on your jacket and head for the front door. Right when you're about to turn the knob, one of your co-workers stop you.

"Where are you going, Carlos?" She asks inquisitively.

"I'm going to go check on Cecil. He's been ignoring me, and I'm starting to worry."

"Him? Ignoring you? What the hell could that be over? Are you sure he hasn't been responding?"

"Texts, calls, messages, voicemails, nothing! Something bad must've happened to him...If it's his new management or those fucked up secret police idiots he keeps going on about again I swear I'm going to just-"

"Texts, calls, and voicemails?" She repeats with a slight smirk, "Even his little communicational habits have started to rub off on you big time, haven't they? Wow you two are so cute."

"Shut up." You say as you slam the door. You know that your colleagues are only lovingly teasing you so much because they support you, but now is really not the time. You wanted to explain to her that you're in a hurry because you're worried about the safety of your significant other. Wait...Shit! Did she hear tonights broadcast? Does she know anything about what might be going on? Well, it's too late to ask now, you're already in your car, only seconds before driving away.

As you pull out of the driveway and begin down the street, you start to recollect your mind into thinking about all the things you need to talk to him about, things that you have uncovered that you really want him to know. Really important things that will change how he thinks about everything. Things that maybe, you hope with all of your might, will finally convince him that he should finally leave this place.

Speaking of which, ever since you two started to take the relationship seriously you've honestly wanted nothing more than to take him away from here, as far as possible, to come live with you. Where he would be warm, safe, and loved...away from all the trauma and abuse he has lived to become accustomed to. Away with you, where you can just hold him and love him and-STOP. You're getting off topic! Focus, stupid!

As you continue to drive you start to think back to how exactly it was that you managed to obtain such things...

It was exactly two nights ago that you had found this collection of fucked up and unspoken truths. You had been invited by the secret police to help investigate something, which was of course a very odd and abnormal thing for them to do. Or at least you thought so, until you realized that it was all just a clever bullshit lie to trick you into a meeting with the executives of STREX Corp, Cecil's new management. They wanted to get to know you personally, since it's still kind of a big deal that you and him are dating. The majority of the 3 hours was nothing but "Gay is ok with us here at STREX" and "Cecil is important to us, so now you are too!" and of course, "We want you to feel comfortable here. We know how you like to be skeptical about everything, so we want you to be confident in how we mean no harm to anyone. Rest assured we're only here to help the people!" Basically you're average and everyday government bullshit. It pissed you off, but there wasn't really any damage being done. Plus, if there's one thing you've learned from living here as long as you have, it's that when these people call you in for something, you do it. So you just sat through the meeting and moved on.

It's not fair in the slightest, but you know it will just save you a lot of pain later. The system in Night Vale can do a lot to fuck someone up if they are ignored. STREX however, you must admit was nothing less than incredibly nice to you. Annoying as all living hell, but very polite to say the least. Yet, that is not the important part. The important part is what you found later that same evening. As you were being lead out of the meeting by two of the representatives, one of them dropped a key, to which of course you picked up and offered back to them. They, much like the rest of the city just denied there ever being a key in their possession to be dropped in the first rolled your eyes, then proceeded to make your way to the front desk to put it into the "what dropped possession?" collection bin, but stopped when you noticed something. There was a number engraved on it. This was the first key you've ever found with a number, of all things, carved into it. This key, was extremely important in some way. So of course, you proceeded to investigate.

To make an already long story short, it was the key to a safe. A safe that was hidden away behind one of the most guarded doors in the entire facility, the extra storage room that was specifically for the mayor's personal use only. You would not have normally snooped around to this level, but you were all alone in this hallway. ( It would seem that the normally posted guards were on another 'mental' break until 4:30)...So why the hell not? It was a monday and you had nothing else going on.

When you found what the key lead to, you knew everything was about to change forever.

It was full of tapes.

Tapes about Cecil.

Every last one of them.

You remember listening to the first tape and dropping everything you had in your hands. You remember listening to the first few minutes of each one until you felt like you were going to collapse. You've never felt your heart be so close to breaking like this in a long time. Cecil had to know about this...it was his right to know what they did to him and what they made him forget.

So, the following day...yesterday...after careful consideration, you decided it would be best to listen to these together. You don't want him to be alone while hearing the contents. You packed them deep into your coat pocket, and arrived at his doorstep ready for your dinner date, just as you had planned to about a week ago. When he opened the door you were greeted with his usual squeal of delight and firm yet quick hug, followed by him taking you by the hand roughly and pulling you inside. He had made up the table all nice, all the food already out and even were accompanied by a few lit candles. As you go to sit down he pulls your chair out for you, just like the gentleman he is. The two of you eat and laugh for basically the whole night, not either one of you talking about work or stresses. During 'at home' dates like this, all that is wrong is left outside on the doorstep.

Of course it was always weighing on your mind, those tapes. There was nothing more you wanted to do than bring them up right this second. This is almost too important to comprehend. This is Cecil's life, his past, all those things he said he didn't have any recollection or records of. And you found some. This was it, the first to many steps of getting him his own life back. You really want to just pull them out of your pockets and shove them into the nearest tape deck and just get it over with.

But oh, he's so happy you're here. He's so pleased to see you enjoying the food he made for you. His eyes and shining with love and joy, and oh...shit he's doing the thing. He's doing the thing where he suddenly gets really quiet and just sits there across the table and _looks_ at you. He's smiling ever so slightly as he gazes into your eyes so admiringly...Fuck you can't do this to him now. You've had these plans for over a week, maybe this _could_ wait just a little bit...until tomorrow?... Yes, you'll show them to him tomorrow, definitely. Of course your train of thought was cut short he comes over to you and takes your empty dishes away, keeping eye contact at all times. You smile. You want him to keep looking at you like that. It's so hard to focus when he's being so domestic.

You stand up out of your chair and follow him into the kitchen, meeting him at the sink and wrapping your arms around his waist in a hug from behind. He jumps a little, then giggles. You rest your chin on his shoulder, you can feel the warmth radiating off his face. It's cute as fuck. You don't remember much after that, other than you started kissing the side of his face, and then by his ear and jaw. You felt him shiver a little and breathe, and then he turned around and kissed you on the lips. The rest is a little hazy, but you remember him sliding your coat off your shoulders. The tapes still in the pockets...he needed to give that back. But no, he assures you it's safe, being put away in the closet so you don't have to worry. You try to say something but he's kissing you again, and suddenly you forgot about everything else.

Next thing you know you're tucking him in as you carefully and quietly leave the bedroom. It was almost 3 in the morning when you finally woke up again, and you're still half asleep and only half dressed. You gather your things and leave. You drive home, you sneak back into your lab and...

HOLY FUCK THE TAPES.

You instantly snap out of your flashback and slam on the breaks so hard that it makes your whole body lurch forward, forcing the seatbelt to catch you. You suddenly find yourself letting go of the wheel and rapidly rummaging through your pockets.

"Where are they!" You say out loud in a panicked voice, "They were just here!...oh god no no no!"

What have you done! You've somehow managed to loose them!? No, this can't be happening! ok, just think...think, Carlos...Think! Where did you last have them? You're pockets right? Well they're not here now. You did grab the same coat right? This was the same one you had them in last night, correct? Yes, it is...so then where did they...They must've fallen out somewhere...where could they have fallen out? You were so careful...unless...

oh no.

oh **_no._**

Suddenly a terrifying possibility hits you. That's it...That's it isn't it...When Cecil took your coat and threw it in the closet...

You floor it. You're going into deep panic mode. Cecil had mentioned that he was going through that closet later, didn't he? Putting your coat in there reminded him that he needed to clean it out, there were so many boxed crammed at the bottom. If they happened to fall out and ended up mixed in there along with the boxes...

_no no no no no no no! _

This was NOT how you wanted him to find out! Son of a bitch! You were going to be there with him while you both listened! No one should just hear things like that alone! Cecil has no memories of those years! He doesn't even know he HAD a family to this extent! This was going to change everything, and you needed to be there! You hastily pull into the parking lot of the studio, how long has it been? What time is it? Is he still in there? You turn the car off and slam the door. You run as fast as your legs allow you and you barge in through the side door.

"Cecil!" You shout, your voice shaking and full of worry and concern. You quickly run down the hall and knock on the studio door. There is no answer, so you take it upon yourself to barge in. It isn't even locked, this is so unlike him. It's clear that he must've left in a rush, seeing how his chair is still out, and there's something all over his desk and in the waste basket-

Your heart shatters. There are small shards of broken plastic and remains of torn up magnetically coated plastic tape littering his entire desk and garbage. The labels are torn, but still legible. You pick up one of the pieces and take a long, deep breath. Then, just then, does the true fear really strike you. It hurt, like a twinge of white hot electricity just singed through every inch of you. Your stomach hurts and you break out in a cold sweat that somehow leaves you overheated.

That's when you notice that the microphones are still out in broadcasting positions, and the cassette slot in the player to the left is wide open...oh god he didn't just play them live did he? Oh...OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

You drop everything and run. You run out of the building and call out his name. You leave your car in the lot and run down the sidewalk, where the FUCK IS HE!?

"Cecil!" You shout into the night, "Cecil, where are you!? We need to talk! Right now!" There is panic and desperation in your voice. You keep running, hearing only your voice echo back to you and the sound of your shoes slamming the concrete.

You've only been running a few minutes before you come to a stop, catching your breath as steady as you can.

Cecil is there, standing alone under one of the only street lights on this stretch. He's sitting under it, resting his back against the narrow metal structure. He looks distressed and uncomfortable, his elbows resting on his knees and his palms are cupping his forehead. You feel the adrenaline start to slowly fade as you walk over. His head shoots up hearing you draw closer, but he relaxes the second he sees that it's only you. He stands up and starts hastily walking, meeting you half way still under the street light.

"Carlos..." He starts to say, looking lost and broken, "I...This is going to sound...very bizzar and out of nowhere but...I think...I think I've been lying to you...about quite a lot."

_You've got to be kidding me._

"Listen...I...found some things today, and I think...I don't know...there are things about my life that I have just...maybe? Found out...and they completely contradict everything I may have ever told you up to this point."

_No, stop._

His voice cracks and his eyes look serious and angry. "I have been lied to Carlos!" He suddenly shouts, "So I have been lying to you too! I found these...these, TAPES today! They were full of a younger version of myself, talking on and on about interning and FAMILY!"

_He's so mad he's shaking._

"It was me! It was me on those tapes, Carlos! I don't remember anything! I have no...no recollection at all!"

Oh.

"I'm so fucking confused right now I feel like my brain is going to explode! My family was taken away from me in every way possible! I sounded so scared and so young! I was horrified, and my family seemed to have an idea of what was going to happen to me? What did happen to me!? Who attacked me!? Who took them!? I had a BROTHER, Carlos! I FUCKING BROTHER!? Or maybe it's just all lies!"

He's grabbing his hair and pounding his head, you have to do something. This is just as painful to watch as it is to hear. You didn't listen to any of them all the way through, so right now you're just as lost as he is, in a way. But one thing is clear, his life is a lie, a lie forcefully implanted in him by the government. He is just now starting to realize just how manipulated he's been over the years, just how groomed and polished he is now from what he was before. Something about a family now, too? Cecil's mind has been to tampered with that even after hearing his own voice talking back to him in a form of a flawless primary source from his past, he still can't even remember a thing. You're eyes are tearing up and your heart is hurting so much it feels like it's just going to stop. This is even worse than you thought it would be.

You let him keep talking, but you walk over and wrap your arms around him as tightly as you can. You want to take him away from all this, you want him to be safe with you forever. And you are going to hold him right now for as long as it takes. His anger is slowly starting to fade, you can hear it in his voice. He starts to tremble and his words become lost and incoherent mumbles. He's starting to cry, and there is nothing else you can do but bring him even closer and squeeze.

"Carlos..." He says softly, "I...I don't know what to believe...I don't...I don't know what I am..." He grips his shaking fists at his sides as he plants his eyes roughly against your shoulder.

"I'll tell you what you are." You say harshly, pulling away only enough to look him straight in the eyes. "You're _my _Cecil, and no amount of records of anything is ever going to change that."

He looks at you with sad eyes, hollow in expression, truly the look of someone who is broken and is desperately trying to find something to hold on to. You pull him back in and kiss the top of his head. "You're mine...I'm here, I'll always be here, everything will be ok."

He cried. He lets his arms swing up and wrap around you too, almost like he's gripping a life line. It's with such force that it brings you to the ground, and now you both are kneeling on the hard pavement, just holding each other. You rub his back and brush your fingers through his hair, quietly trying to calm him down, but nothing is helping. He shakes and stalls for a second at a time, trying to regain composure, but they're all just a bunch of worthless attempts. He wants to feel your comforting touches and gestures, but he's so far into himself he can't even bring himself to respond. You understand perfectly, and you don't let go.

_Those bastards. _

_Those cruel, sick bastards._

_Whoever they are, they are going to pay for this._


End file.
